To Inside Cats:
It has come to my attention that throw-up was found in HER closet on a pair of HER shoes. Please, remember Rule #4
if you must toss your cat cookies, hairballs or such, please find a washable surface (brick floor, tile) to use as your toss goal. Cease and desist blowing cat cookies in any closet or near human possessions. While it may be difficult to determine human possessions in a home, use your judgement.
Further, Management requests that loud meows be reserved for hours when the bedroom is lighted, not when bedroom is dark. While humans appreciate your rich interior lives as Mr. Adventure, Wild Cat and I am a Wuff, when the room is dark, be quiet.
Please allow the pantry door to remain closed. You will not be able to claw your way into the pantry. Beating on the door with open paws while wailing will not open the door. The pantry is off limits to any orange cat or grey and white cat. THIS MEANS YOU.
You are on the grazing meal plan. This means food is available 24/7 so you may eat
small meals throughout the day and night. Parking yourself next to the food bowl to eat all of the kat kibble two or three times each day is not good. You live in a state where obesity is an issue. The Dept. of Cat Concerns says overeating may lead to muffin tops from the neck downwards, diabetes and general slovenly appearance.
Remember, the phrase "fat cat" means someone with money, not overweight feline-age.
Finally, Management will be away for a few days. As a courtesy, please behave. The contest, "How Many Loud Things Can I Try to Break" isn't until August 2012. Do not practice while Management is out-of-town.
Thank you for your attention to these matters.
Sincerely,
Your Management Team
