Fish Speaks to Issue of Playfulness

Dear Agatha,

As you may observe, I am not going to play with you. You are a kitten, an untried mixture of "cute"* and activity.

I am a contemplative older cat, wise in years, dignified, private and very good-looking. I follow a Benedictine Spirituality for Cats**.  Playful? I am not.


Get over it and stop trying to pat my face, play with my tail, jump on me when I am under the covers meditating, try to get my cat cookies, chase me down the hall, ask me questions, try to sniff me and etc.

Being a distinctive Ginger Cat and published author of 27 e-books of poetry, deep thoughts and suggestions for How to Run the World, I am too busy to play.

Yours with a paw with your name on it,
Fish

*I don't think you are cute. Everyone else says you are cute.
**Benedictine but not following the rule of being kind to other cats.

The Horrors of Daily Kitten Life

Yesterday Agatha stayed in the CLOSET when the door closed! She was trapped and even I with my extra toes could not get the door opened to save her. She meowed until the BIG CAT opened the door to let her out. Yours, Dubby

Memo from Senior Cat Fish

To be distributed throughout the home:

1. The Cat Climbing Tower is mine. Do not sit on the lower portion. Do not sit on the top portion.

2. When Cat Kibbles are served, remain 42" from the bowl and wait until I have eaten. When I have eaten and begun a bath, remain 42" from the bowl because I may return to bowl for a second helping. After I have walked 6' from the bowl showing no interest in the crumbs left in the bowl, you may eat the crumbs. Do not leave "floaties" in the water bowl.

3. The Cat Quilt sent to ME by My Sue is off-limits. I found black and white fur on it yesterday and sent it out to be cleaned. Do not even breathe near my Cat Quilt.

4. Ear Scratches are for me first.

5. When I enter the room, do not approach me to sniff me, attempt to play with me or ask me questions about theology. Not. Interested.

Sincerely and with the hope you will get the message,

Fish, Sr. Cat of Household

Dubby's Diary

Dear Diary,

I'm proud of my kitten, Agatha. She's doing great with learning to lapsit, chasing paper balls and snuggling. Every cat should have a kitten for a pal!

Before Agatha was my kitten, I thought I would never have a friend. My cat Whistle and my dog Sister both left me. Fish is a contemplative in the Order of Grumpy Cats so he doesn't need me. He says mean things to me and tries to hit me with his paw.

Agatha loves me and I love her. She calls me "Mom", "Dad", "Uncle" and "Mr." I don't think she knows much about titles.

Oh! She is learning to meow in her big cat voice. You should hear her!

Love,
Dubby

Emergency Letter to Santa Paws

Dear Santa Paws,
I know you are busy today on Christmas Eve but I need your help! You got letters from me, my brother Fish and our dog Annie but I don't think you got a letter from my kitten, Agatha. She is new and this is her first Christmas.
She came to be my kitten from the mean streets. She didn't have a round tummy or a good smell. She was tired and scared. Now, she has a tummy full of cat cookies and smells like I gave her a baff which I did. I love her.
She will like anything you bring her. If your sleigh is full already, take out some of my gifts and put hers in my place. Bring the gifts to my house because she lives here with me.
She looks good in every color, has bright green eyes and loves to dance.
Please Santa Paws, don't forget my Agatha.

Love from your,
Dubby

A Note from Professor Whiskers

To Whom it May Concern:

We are delighted to have Agatha enrolled at Cat School. She is a happy kitten and a good student. Agatha receives good grades in her courses: Vocalization, Dance, Pouncing, History of Cats and Snuggling. We would like to see her work on Staying Off Counters and Wearing a Collar. She works well with her peers and has many friends among her classmates. Agatha's participation in Bottle Cap Soccer and Chase the Scrunched Up Paper Ball is very good for a kitten her age.

Agatha's teacher, Miss Frisky Whiskers, sends along this comment:
"Agatha knows her name, maintains eye contact when spoken to, purrs sweetly and likes to snuggle. I enjoy Agatha as a student in my Cupcake Kittens Class."

If we may be of assistance to you, please contact us by calling the Cat School office.

Sincerely,

Professor Whiskers

Dubby's Diary

Dear Diary,
This is Dubby. Fish is grumpy and won't blog. Agatha is too young. Our dog, Annie, is busy.
Do you remember how my heart hurt when Whistle died? I had a big hurt in my chest that three dozen cat cookies couldn't fix. Everyday felt slow and sad like a day filled with hissing and head swipes.
Then, the best thing ever happened to me. I got a kitten named Agatha. She is little and has green cats and black fur. She took medicine when she first came to my house and had skinnyness which our human family doesn't allow. Now she is shiny like Fish and me and has a round tummy like....well, maybe somebody like me.
Anyway, having my own kitten makes me very happy.
My job is to help her learn cat stuff. Her job is to be my snugglebunny. And, clean my ears.
She knows how to do most stuff but sometimes she makes mistakes like jumping into the toilet when the lid was left up by that boy. Ewww.
Ooops! It's nap time. See you later, tater.
Dubby

Raindrops on Roses, Whiskers on Kittens

Dear Diary,

Things to ponder: why do humans wash themselves with water? Spit is better. Why do human laps move just when I get comfortable on them? Why do they get up when I'm comfortable? Where does my litter go when I'm through with it? Why don't humans have good fur? If humans love me as much as they say they do why don't they stay home all day? Why can't I go in Her closet?

Things to enjoy: a good scratch on upholstery, getting my head licked, finding a bug,eating cat cookies, eating breakfast, eating elevenses, eating lunch, eating mid-afternoon snack, eating dinner, eating evening snack, eating in the middle of the night, a good tummy tickle, books about jungle cats, being called "Adorable"...

What I am doing at Professor Whiskers this semester: Great Cats in Literature, Paw Swatting as Artistic Expression, The History of Napping, Bottle Cap Soccer and I'm in advanced placement (!) with Lap Sitting and String Play.

Love,
Dubby

Thank You

Dear Friends:

Thank you for your kind words about Whistle. He was the best litter-mate and brother ever. I miss him everyday.
I miss seeing him working the bathroom counter looking for Q-tips to chew.
I miss hearing him purr.
I miss watching him working the cat cookie angle because he was all cat cookies all the time.
I miss him.
Dubby wants to keep the blog going. I have things to say and so does Dubby. Maybe his entries won't be the caliber of mine but he is a nice lil fella and deserves to blog when I'm busy traveling under the turtle blanket.

Thanks again,
Fish

Whistle August 28, 2005-August 21, 2011

Whistle, a ginger cat, died today at home. He was born the day before Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi Gulf Coast. His mother went into premature labor and delivered her kittens in an abandoned house in the northern part of Hancock County. Whistle and his litter mate, Fish, were rescued and weaned by a kind woman. In October of 2005, Whistle and Fish went to live with a family who needed them. There, the kittens grew up with a rescue dog, Sister. Later, they were joined by Dubby, a homeless kitten.

Whistle was known for his good humor and loud purring. He was a content cat. He made his dog, Sister, his nanny and loved her. He welcomed Dubby by grooming the kitten and taking long naps curled up with him. He kept a close eye on his brother Fish and they were not separated for even a day until Fish went into the Louisiana Veterinary Hospital for a leg operation. When Fish returned, Whistle groomed all of the hospital smell and homesickness off.

Whistle loved his birthday. For his first five years, he announced his August birthday as early as December to remind his friends and blog readers of the celebration. He received gifts from all over the country.

He enjoyed eating cat cookies. He preferred Greenies Cat Treats until he discovered health food cat cookies. He believed the health food cat cookies meant he could eat several human hand fulls each day. He learned to eat from his human's hand as a kitten then began to stand on his hind legs to grab a cat cookie.

Of the memories Whistle leaves to those who loved him, we recall how when picked up, Whistle leaned against us and purred. He was a big cat of 14 lbs. and his body warmth and attention healed.

His story is told on this blog. His subscriptions to The New Yorker and Ophrah Magazines will be cancelled. His red collar will be placed in a shadow box. His memory is precious to his brothers, his dog and his people.

Whistle is survived by his littermate, Fish, his brother Dubby and his dog Annie, and his humans.

He will be buried on August 22, 2011 near his uncle, the Great Cat Rusty in the kitchen yard close to the birdfeeder.

We thank God for every memory of Whistle the Cat.

Dear World,
Life gets better and better. First, I know where She keeps the Cat Cookies! Second, We have a new bag of Cat Cookies! After I say "third", I'm stopping with the counting thing because it's awkward and confuses me. Third, I'm making great grades at Cat Film School!
I'm going on a school field trip to see "Puss 'n Boots" starring the ginger cat from "Shrek". Can't wait! We'll have water bowls and Cat Cookies in the theater!

Later Tater,
Whistle (this is MY blog but some brother named Fish changed the pass code then I got on secret double probation because of a total misunderstanding...)

My Birthday: Whistle

Tomorrow I will be 5 years old. I was born in an empty house the night before Katrina blew through my town. My Mom went into labor with me and my litter-mates as the barometric pressure rose. We all came into a new world of downed trees, no power and a ruined homes.
It's best to be a kitten when hurricanes come. We were safe and dry, left alone in a house with food and water for our Mom and a comfortable place for us to snuggle with her. My eyes weren't open yet so I couldn't see the sky or even outdoors. I didn't know our Mom kept us close because she was anxious. I was warm and dry and ready to nurse.
Several weeks later, my owner brought me to the family I have now. I don't remember much about my first owner but she must have loved us because our family now is great.
I've learned so much in five years.
*a full food bowl inspires confidence
*having my litter-mate and other brother by a different mother close-by makes me happy
*if you love a dog like my dog Sister, you can learn to love a new dog
*having friends everywhere is fun and they don't eat your cat cookies
*some people think my magazine subscriptions are odd. I'm taking Oprah's mag now. My New Yorker sub ended.
*cat cookies are great 24/7
*sleeping with my people is good
*if you use your litter box exclusively you get in less trouble
*Cat University is more fun than Cat School
*being a Ginger Cat means I am beautiful
*nose freckles are admired greatly

I'm sure there is more. I can't think beyond the canned cat food I'm getting tomorrow at my Birthday Bash.

Thanks for you support of my bloggage,

Whistle, this is my blog

Special Message from An Important Cat

Only 52 days until my fifth birthday.


Love,
Whistle This is my blog and I approve this message.

Dubby Goes to the Movies: A Review of Twilight Eclipse

More wuff in this movie. I like it.

Dubby,
Movie Reviewer for this Blog

Awards Day at Cat School

Whistle here.

Before I report on Awards Day, I need to tell you that our dog, Sister, got really sick and went away. We won't get her sickness and she loves us very much but she is not here anymore. We are supposed to think about her and remember her but she isn't here which is the point I'm trying to make and we can't do anything about it. She is the best dog Nanny, ever. My cat kibbles taste all wrong and so do my brother, Fish's cat kibbles. Dubby walks around meowing. At all the wrong times. We are doing the best we can and are putting one paw in front of the other.

About Awards Day:

Awards Won by Fish
Mr. Class President
Best Reader of Books on Camping
Most Likely to Go on Great Adventures

Awards Won by Me, Whistle (this is MY blog)
Class Favorite
Best at Being Fed Cat Cookies by Hand
Top Blogger for Class
The Happy Cat Award, 2010

Awards Won by Dubby
Most Improved at Being Fed Cat Cookies by Hand
Most Eager to Practice Being Fed Cat Cookies
Mr. Snuggle Bunny, 2010
The Singletary Buzzard Award for Original Thought in Philosophy

This Fall, Fish and I will be in the Upper School at Cat School.

Love from Whistle

From Dubby

If you see my dog, Sister, tell her to come home.
She left on Saturday and I can't find her.
I need to tell her something and give her a head bunt.

Love from your Dubby

Dear Sperry Topsiders

Dear Mr. Sperry Topsider,

Please send me shoes. I think Sperry shoes' leather shoe laces are the best. I give the leather stings the WHISTLE PAW of APPROVAL. Really, I mean it. I've chewed plenty of shoe laces but your shoe laces are the best. Just send shoes to chew on. The type I like are the ones marked womens and mens. Either type is great with me.

(I am a bit miffed with my people. They began wearing the Bluefish style. Those laces are cord, not leather! Yuk!)

Love forever,

Whistle

Lent for Cats

Management gave us a surprise this morning. We will be celebrating Lent. "It's Ash Wednesday", she said, "you will observe Lenten practice until Easter Sunday."

We were napping on her bed when she called the meeting to order. Fish and I woke up to pay attention while Dubby snuffled out lil snores. He's out like a light due to inappropriate Mardi Gras behavior yesterday. I won't give details, let him tell you, but he overdid everything and went to bed late, after Letterman Fish says.

Lent for Cats? We will stop trying to run out the kitchen door. We will stop clawing furniture. We will not wail meows after Lights Out.

I'm not sure I can do this. Fish says running out the door is his privilege as "Adventure Cat". Clawing furniture is cat manicures. I wail at night to relieve the Universe of excess grief/sadness/angst. It's my calling.

Does SHE realize we don't do self-reflection, sacrifice or repentance? We are cats and part of God's created order. We never bit that Apple, don't even like apples. We aren't heirs of original sin nor do we need to reflect on our deaths or grieve our sins.

Fish says if She says we are doing the Lent thing, then we are doing it. Rats! She waved a spray water bottle at us saying, "if you try to run out the door, claw furniture or wail, you will get a blast of water mist."

Someone report her. Now.

Here is what I'm willing to do for Lent: wear a purple collar; eat more fresh fish; give up chocolates and sweets (yuk!!!!); stop smoking; stop drinking; and refrain from cat cursing.

She says Lent means taking on correctives to one's souls behavior, too. My soul is a cat soul which no human understands. I'm on good ground with God who made me and loves me. I don't need correctives. I believe most cats would say they are perfect just as they are.

But, to show that I love her, I will: be a sweet companion when I can work it in my schedule, purr when she holds me, eat as many cat cookies as I can and keep Sister's ears clean.

Living in a religious household really chaps my tail at times.

Yours,
Fish, this is my Blog and I approve this message

Cat News This Week by Dubby

*We heard about Ouzo and we feel sad.

*Whistle's right eye was inflamed. He looked like a pirate. His vet prescribed eyed drops. His eye is well now.

*Andy walked over to the Methodist Church for a funeral to pay his respects. The funeral director likes cats and tried to pat Andy. Mom asked Andy to stop pandering after the Methodists. Again.

*Whistle weighs 16lbs. His vet says he handles his weight well and isn't fat. As. If.

*I had cat cookies all to myself twice this week for Cat Cookie Hand Feeding Practice.
I made an "A".

*Fish called me a name.

*Sister is the best dog Nanny ever.

Love,
Dubby

Goodbye, Ouzo

Dear My Sue,
I am sorry about Ouzo. Ouzo was a great cat. Living in a place with ice and snow, Ouzo remembered the pals of the Deep South.
Ouzo was a good friend. When I had cat cookies, Ouzo was glad. If Whistle acted like a cookie pig, Ouzo didn't like it.
Ouzo had friends all over the world. Ouzo never hissed at me or any other online cat pal. Ever.
My Sue, if you need to hug my turtle blanket, you can. I spend hours under it thinking deep cat thoughts. Today I am thinking about Ouzo and you.

Love from your,
Fish