Emergency Letter to Santa Paws

Dear Santa Paws,
I know you are busy today on Christmas Eve but I need your help! You got letters from me, my brother Fish and our dog Annie but I don't think you got a letter from my kitten, Agatha. She is new and this is her first Christmas.
She came to be my kitten from the mean streets. She didn't have a round tummy or a good smell. She was tired and scared. Now, she has a tummy full of cat cookies and smells like I gave her a baff which I did. I love her.
She will like anything you bring her. If your sleigh is full already, take out some of my gifts and put hers in my place. Bring the gifts to my house because she lives here with me.
She looks good in every color, has bright green eyes and loves to dance.
Please Santa Paws, don't forget my Agatha.

Love from your,
Dubby

Dubby Goes to the Movies: A Review of Twilight Eclipse

More wuff in this movie. I like it.

Dubby,
Movie Reviewer for this Blog

Looks Like Dubby

This cat in I Can Haz Cheezeburger picture:

looks like Dubby

thinks like Dubby

is too thin to be Dubby.

Love from,
Whistle

Dear Diary: Dubby

If I die before I wake, throw my diary in the lake.Dear Diary,

Hey! How have you been? Things going ok for you?
I'm great here. Christmas was the best ever! Really! I didn't write to Santa and he brought me great stuff anyway! Whistle and Fish changed the password so I couldn't send Santa my list but here's what I got: canned cat food, cat cookies, wrapping paper, string and boxes! I got Christmas canned cat food this morning, too!!!

Since this year is almost over, and I'm three years old, I'm writing you about what I learned in 2009:

*If you are heavier than your opponent, they don't pop you so hard in the head.(1)
*I love studying birds and squirrels. They are my friends and I hope to hug each one of them.
*If She kisses me, I don't have to move or wake up from a nap.
*How to eat cat cookies: open my mouth wide!
*Every cat likes you if you can open closed doors and untie knots.
*Snuggling with Whistle is comfy.
*My dog, Sister, is my best friend.
*It's OK to be a cat and smell like a dog.
*Whistle and Fish get in trouble more than I do.
*I like to hide under the dining room table.
*Cat School is easier if you don't sit next to Fluffy Catsworth.
*I can shred fabric, especially upholstery fabric,with my claws!

I can't think of anything else.
Love,
Dubby

(1)I don't know why but this year some people called me "Lord LardBotton" and "Dump Truck"

Santa, this is Whistle

Dear Santa,
Hi. How are you? How's it going up there in the North Pole? How is Mrs. Santa Claus?
Tell the reindeer I say, "Hi!"
I've been a good cat again this year. Everybody says I am a good-natured cat. I turned four in August. I make good grades at Cat School. I think I will be Class Favorite this year but if someone else wins, I'll be fine with that.
The picture looks like me in my Halloween costume. I have a collar just like this good-looking ginger cat. I wore my Halloween costume for hours and hours and didn't complain.
Maybe I should give you my Christmas List: I'd like a big bag of Greenies, maybe two or three of the giant size would be good. Please ask Mr. Greenies to make me the poster cat for Greenies. I love Greenies! I would like a few toys but not the toys with batteries because battery cat toys are scary to Dubby, my brother. I would like for my cat bed to be just for me. If you wrote a note to Fish and Dubby saying it was my cat bed they might leave my cat bed alone. Just a hint!
Please bring my dog Sister, a beautiful chewy bone and some tennis balls. She is the best dog in the world.
Love and thank you,
Whistle

New Moon: The Wuff Movie A Review

This is Dubby.

New Moon is the best Twilight movie! More Wuffs! More growling! Less Sparkle!

When I look at the Wuffs, I see myself because I am a Wuff, too. Grrrr!

The movie is very short, only about two hours. That girl is in the movie. No need to see her at all!

The Wuffs are strong and brave! Big!

I sat with my dog Sister at the movies. We ate popcorn and drank water in cups!
Sister told me to not to growl or meow so I didn't except during the fight scenes.
Sister wore sunglasses and a hat. She carried her Big Movie Purse. I hid in her purse.

I saw NEW MOON THE WUFF MOVIE!

You go see it. Ok? It's the best movie ever.

Love from Dubby, the Wuff


I am a Wuff and a Bearnaise Sauce Mountain Cat AT THE SAME TIME. It's like magic but different.

Editorial by Fish

School started early in August here. We're getting up early, packing our book bags for Cat School with Professor Whiskers and his faculty. Summer projects are over!

My younger brother, Dubby, is caught up in a cultural maelstrom of silliness! He thinks he is a dead ringer for the Wuff in New Moon. He growls, leaps and poses all day long, except when he is texting, chatting or twittering with his Twilight pals.

Yep, THAT movie cult!

Yesterday, Dubby wore his underwear rolled over at the waist just like Jacob Black in the picture above. Really! He didn't start wearing drawers or working on his six pack until he saw the movie. He memorized all the dialogue. He refers to himself as "the Wuff".

Oh please. He's trying to raise money to go to the Cat Twilight Con! His Con group, Twi-Cats#10 Gulf Coast, voted for him to represent them.

Let him go! We will have "Wuff-Free" days while he's out there debating "Bella, Is she the best character ever?" and "Do Wuffs Like Greenies?"

Make him stay home! Get that cat to wise up! Pay attention to Cat School! Focus!

Arghhhh.

by Fish, Wise, Smart, Mature

Dubby's Fierce Bad Day

Dear Diary,
I'm glad I can tell you stuff because around here, there isn't privacy. A brother is close by all the time!
You know how Fish and Whistle read those Twilight Books? About vampires biting animals? Whistle has two new lip freckles he says look just like vampire teef. Then Fish runs around outside in the courtyard yelling, " Say it! Say what I am!". It is upsetting I'm telling you.
Saturday, Fish grabbed me and bit me on the side of the head. He was pretending to be a vampire in those books! He took a chunk of my fur off with skin attached! It hurt so bad but I didn't say anything. Blood!
Fish got bored and went off to check his Twitter messages on his FB.
My girl saw my owie and told Mom. Mom cleaned it out with hurting stuff then gave me a HAND FULL of cat cookies.
Today, it was awful! I went in the car in my cat carrier to the Vet!!!!!!!!!
So scary! Even with my girl and Mom along.
Now I have to take ant buy optics. Now I have a shaved place on my head. Now Fish is being nice to me but I am worried.
Don't read those Twilight books, Diary. You might bite a kitten.
Love from Dubby

P.S. I cannot show you a picture of my owie. I can't hold the camera so it points at behind my ear. I tried. Love from Dubby

P.S.S. Fish is a bad kitty. Don't tell anyone I said this.

News from Around Here

Whistle here.

Cat School finals have everyone in a tizzy. Dubby is convinced Fluffy will be his lab partner next year. He says he is quitting school to become a drop-out and get tattoos. Mom says "NO".

Fish won the Catzinger Longtail Award for Best Behavior, Cat Citizenship, the Rotary Scholarship for Nappage, the Blue Ribbon Hairball Hacking Award and the Chat Prize in French. We aren't supposed to know this until Awards Day but Fish told us. Several. Times.

I'm passing my courses, doing well in String Play, Whiffle Ball and Midnight Meowing.
I'm the year book editor with Blast next year. I need two new cameras!

Today we are practicing Hair Ball Hacking. Mom says if she sees one more attempt left on the floor, we are in trouble. This doesn't make sense! Hacking hairballs is nature's way of cleaning out fur and detritus, like beads and tiny Leggos.

Dubby lost his only friend. According to Dubs, Frank the Flea, was a great friend and chatted Dubby up all day and night. We got flea treatment yesterday. Dubby tried to save Frank who died a horrible chemical-tainted death. I don't mind flea treatment. Mom gives us Greenies when she puts the stuff on us.

Fish got stuck under the bedcovers last night. He complained in a loud Meow until Mom freed him. He's so strange.

Verbena wants privacy. Fish wants to pat Verbena. More later because I see this as a real problem.

Frances the Turtle is moving by the windows. She looks great. I wave at her and she ignores me.

Mom has her suitcase out. I hate this. No Greenies during the day time. Water bowl doesn't get filled and we won't get to listen to Urban Contemporary or Classical music all day long. He's OK but doesn't wait on us hand and paw.

Mom says she heard people meowing at LD's school. She says they are pretending to be at Cat School. Go figure. I wish LD stayed home. She goes and comes and goes again.
I love her. Everyone loves her.

Love from Fish. I approve this post. Everybody else (that mean You Fish and You Dubby) stay OFF my Bloggage!!!

A Prayer from Whistle

Dear God, this is your Whistle.
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all I see around me.
For what is above my head, what is below my paws.
Thank you for everything!

Thank you for my brothers and my nanny, Sister the Dog.
Thank you for my humans.
Thank you for the big clay pot of catnip growing outside the window.
Thank you for all the birds out side; squirrels, too.

Thank you for Greenies, cat food and clean water.
Thank you for fresh litterboxes.
Thank you for the strength to jump high on the Study bookcases.
Thank you that no one saw me knock over the lamp in the dining room.

Thank you for my friends near and far.
Thank you for my green collar.
Thank you that I am dressed in clothes once a year on Halloween.
Thank you for ear scratches, purrs received with delight and bugs.

Thank you for making me and placing me in my home.
Amen.

Dubby: How I am Doing

When I grow up, I'm going to be a Bearnaise Sauce Mountain Dog, just like Sam!
Here is how I am doing:


Have big paws. CHECK

Have a soft fur coat. CHECK

Look just like Sam. CHECK

Ride in the Car. NOT SO GOOD

Go to Church with Momma. NOT SO GOOD

Bark at strangers. SORTA GOOD

Eat lots of food to be BIG. CHECK

Join the Berner Group. (I'm having trouble with this one. The Berners don't see as much resemblance to Sam as I do. Will work on this. Get a moustache or something. Maybe sunglasses.)

Love from Dubby

Kitteh Update

Whistle

I got a new piece of yarn! My birthday is coming up in August!
Momma came home and gave us Greenies!

Fish

I'm singing in the Catty Chorus this year! I'm singing a solo of "There are Greenies in Gilead" and get to wear a choir robe! My paper, "Why Cats Are So Great" won 2nd prize in the Essay Contest! I think my grades are good, as always!

Andy
Busy. Spring is busy. Monitoring squirrels and birds. Later, tater.

Dubby
I hate Fluffy XXXXXXXX! She says I am stupid! She is mean to me everyday at Cat School. She told Mrs. Velvet Paws that I was the kitteh who ate the birthday cookies! I did not!

When we practiced our choral song, one of the younger kittehs pointed at my paws and laughed. I started crying and Prof. Whiskers asked me to go to his office! He was nice to me and licked my head but I feel sad.

I WILL NOT wash my nose! Nobody can make me. That dirt looks just like nose freckles.

I do not like anyone but Sister, my dog. I want to stay at home with her. I don't want to go to Cat School ever ever again.

Pet News

Sister the Dog: Received certificate from Miss Barky's School of Canine Vocalization.
Top of class in: protective barking, various vocalizations

Whistle: I'm busy with Bottlecap Soccer and Pushing Around the Plantation Blinds. Extra points for games played late at night!

Dubby: Keeps pretending to need tutoring with eating GREENIES fed by Mom's hand. Geez! That cat is a mess! Need to mention he is learning Lap Sitting and doing well, according to Mom.

Fish: Wrote a blistering review of Naughty Naughty Kyle, a book about a Ginger cat who leaves good things around his home for his human. Got an "A" on the report!

Whistle, I don't miss much and this is my blog

A Note from Cat School

The Faculty of Cat School met to discuss Dubby's request that he be allowed to bring Sister the Dog to Show and Tell. While we appreciate the close relationship between Dubby and his nanny, Sister, we feel that Sister's presence at Cat School will be disruptive. Very few, if any, of our students live with dog nannys. While we hope for the day when all animals may gather in peace, that day has not come to Cat School. We hope you understand. Please call me if I may be of help to interpret our decision to Dubby further.

Sincerely,

Prof. Whiskers

We went to the vet today.
We had to get in our cat carriers and ride in a car.
I had to share the cat carrier with Fish. Dubby was in the other carrier.
Fish and Dubby weigh 16 lbs. each. I weigh 15 lbs.
Everyone got two shots.
We had our temperatures taken in the wrong place.
It was so bad I can't discuss it further.

An entire bag of Greenies can't make me feel better.
But, you could try.

I may never be the same again.

Sadly,
Whistle, this is my blog and I approve this message

Cat School: Take Home Exam

Cat School Take Home Exam
Class: Human Interaction
Instructions: You may use Chapters 1-5 of Dr. Fluffy Tendertoes' Human Interaction for House Cats, 2007. Carrboro Cat Press books.
Student: Dubby


1. When your human is working on either a technical, craft or housework project, you:
a. stand where the human is working
b. sit where the human is working
c. play with tools, string or material of human
d. take a nap in another room

2. To wake up your human, you:
a. bite nose of human
b. put fresh litter box paws on human's mouth
c. start a Cat Party!
d. wait until the alarm clock sounds

3. If your human is sewing, knitting or crocheting, you:
a. play with thread or yarn
b. try to sit on human's lap or working area
c. pay no attention

4. If your water dish is empty, you:
a. stand in bowl and wail
b. kick bowl with paws for noise
c. wail
d. wait until the bowl is filled to drink

5. When a human enters the bathroom, you:
a. insist on coming into the bathroom
b. want to sit on human's lap if human sits
c. stare at human with amazement, every time
d. allow human privacy

6. If your human is reading, you:
a. keep the human company by sitting on the reading materials
b. yell for food
c. dash through the room acting terrified
d. curl up on the floor and take quiet nap

7. You are accused of bad cat behavior, you:
a. look innocent
b. refuse to move from offending area
c. take a good long bath
d. roll on your back, paws in the air and ask for forgiveness

8. When humans are away from your home, you:
a. do whatever you wish
b. find projects you are denied when humans are home
c. play with toilet paper or paper towel rolls
d. write poetry about how lonely you feel

9. Where is the highest place you can jump to to knock things off?
a. bedroom bookshelves
b. bookshelves in family room
c. pull down linens in linen closet
d. take a nap instead

10. How often do you try to run outdoors?
a. every time the exterior doors are opened
b. every day or so I make a run for it
c. tear the weather stripping off most exterior doors
d. never

Bonus Essay Question: Why Cat Contact is Important to My Humans. One page, single spaced.


****Dubby made an A+ 110 points

Dubby Completes Christmas Cat Cookie Tutoring

Dear Prof. Whiskers:
Dubby learned to eat cat cookies from a human's hands during the Christmas Break.
He is a fine young cat who works hard to do his studies.
Sincerely,
Sister, Cat Nanny




Dear Prof. Whiskers,
Dubby is bogus! He pretends to need tutoring in cat cookies! He just pretends!
Signed,
A friend




Dear Professor Whiskers:
I know how to eat cat cookies from my human's hands! It's fun!
I am a big cat now.
Love,
Dubby

A Picture of Dubby

Here I am sitting with my pal, Sean Connery, back in the '80s.

Hee Hee,

Dubby

When you live with two brothers, the Best Dog in the World and Andy*, you can be happy all the time.


If you want to snuggle, find Sister or Fish or Dubby.

If you want to play, find Sister, Fish or Dubby.

We are never lonely because we have each other.

Fish takes time to meditate on his Turtle quilt or on the linen closet shelf. He likes to think Deep Thoughts. When he isn't being contemplative or brooding, he's a fun guy.

You can count on one of us to be annoying, too. What would the world be like without annoyance? I'm not saying who is the most annoying because Fish told me I could be the King of Annoy most days.

*Andy is busy 24/7 with his work. We love him but he doesn't want to play often or be snugly ever.

I love my family.

P.S. I was not the one who broke the Christmas Tree ornament yesterday. I think the wind blew it off or something.

love from your,

Whistle

Dubby here.

Why I like Flavor by Dubby

I enjoy all flavors, especially things to eat like food. I eat Cat Crunchies, Dog Crunchies, and any human food I can find. Today I licked the mixer blade in the sink.
Mom says I am not supposed to lick cookie dough on mixer blades or eat any human food. I do not understand this.

Flavor is my life. I love to eat. I am an Epicurean Kitty.

I am trying to be like my big dog friend, Sam. He is a Bearnaise Sauce Dog and lives with Aunt Songbird. He is big. I want to be just like him.

Sam throws up. I can learn to do this, too. Just like Sam.

I love Greenies but my Ginger Brothers are better at eating Greenies than I am.

I want to learn to eat off a sterling silver fork like Sister.

I love food.

Mom? That's all I can think of to write. OK?

Love,
Dubby