Memo from Senior Cat Fish

To be distributed throughout the home:

1. The Cat Climbing Tower is mine. Do not sit on the lower portion. Do not sit on the top portion.

2. When Cat Kibbles are served, remain 42" from the bowl and wait until I have eaten. When I have eaten and begun a bath, remain 42" from the bowl because I may return to bowl for a second helping. After I have walked 6' from the bowl showing no interest in the crumbs left in the bowl, you may eat the crumbs. Do not leave "floaties" in the water bowl.

3. The Cat Quilt sent to ME by My Sue is off-limits. I found black and white fur on it yesterday and sent it out to be cleaned. Do not even breathe near my Cat Quilt.

4. Ear Scratches are for me first.

5. When I enter the room, do not approach me to sniff me, attempt to play with me or ask me questions about theology. Not. Interested.

Sincerely and with the hope you will get the message,

Fish, Sr. Cat of Household

Thank You

Dear Friends:

Thank you for your kind words about Whistle. He was the best litter-mate and brother ever. I miss him everyday.
I miss seeing him working the bathroom counter looking for Q-tips to chew.
I miss hearing him purr.
I miss watching him working the cat cookie angle because he was all cat cookies all the time.
I miss him.
Dubby wants to keep the blog going. I have things to say and so does Dubby. Maybe his entries won't be the caliber of mine but he is a nice lil fella and deserves to blog when I'm busy traveling under the turtle blanket.

Thanks again,
Fish

Whistle Here

Happy New Year all Ye Kittys!

Our Aunt Songbird is here! She brought ME a copy of the Aristocats! I'll watch it today with her. Just me and maybe Dubby and Fish. Sister can watch too but not on Aunt Songbird's lap. Just me.

We have new weather here. It's cold here. Yes, not hot like we have most of the year. This new weather makes my fur upset and my paws chilly. Adventure Cat went outside today but didn't stay long. He said he had emails to write but it was too cold even for a cat who loves Adventure. Sister likes the cold. Andy slept inside with us because he was cold. Mom says 22 degrees means water bowls free up into little ice rinks for birds.

Our birds are beautiful. I watched them at the bird feeders yesterday and counted thirty hundred twelve birds eating. Some eat at the feeder while others pick food off the ground.

If you don't mind, I need to go tell Fish something so I have to go.

Love,
Whistle This is my blog. Just me.

My Christmas List: Fish

Dear Santa,
I am a good cat. I made an A in lap sitting this semester. I play well with my brothers and I keep my fur very clean. Please bring me:

a book about camping
a real cat tent
Greenies
a book about Cat philosophers
Aristocats DVD
Stuff to chase

Yours Very Truly,

Fish

Is it Creepy?

for me to be a cat blogger? I read somewhere it is creepy for cats to speak.
I meditated on this for weeks, discussed it with fellow cat bloggers Fish and Dubby who said "who cares?".

We've been busy. Cat School is tough for older cats like us. Dubby has it easy because he is a kitten-type. He's making string pictures with knots and gluing macaroni on construction paper...

I am NOT dressing up for Halloween. Not! Not! Not!

Love from,
Whistle

Mom thinks this LOLCat is hilarious. What do you think?

Editorial by Fish

School started early in August here. We're getting up early, packing our book bags for Cat School with Professor Whiskers and his faculty. Summer projects are over!

My younger brother, Dubby, is caught up in a cultural maelstrom of silliness! He thinks he is a dead ringer for the Wuff in New Moon. He growls, leaps and poses all day long, except when he is texting, chatting or twittering with his Twilight pals.

Yep, THAT movie cult!

Yesterday, Dubby wore his underwear rolled over at the waist just like Jacob Black in the picture above. Really! He didn't start wearing drawers or working on his six pack until he saw the movie. He memorized all the dialogue. He refers to himself as "the Wuff".

Oh please. He's trying to raise money to go to the Cat Twilight Con! His Con group, Twi-Cats#10 Gulf Coast, voted for him to represent them.

Let him go! We will have "Wuff-Free" days while he's out there debating "Bella, Is she the best character ever?" and "Do Wuffs Like Greenies?"

Make him stay home! Get that cat to wise up! Pay attention to Cat School! Focus!

Arghhhh.

by Fish, Wise, Smart, Mature

The Best Birthday Ever!

Fish here.

Really, this was the greatest birthday I've ever had. We each got a can of cat food to eat, cat cookies whenever we wanted and I heard "Happy Birthday" all through the day!

I feel so four-ish. Competent, able, wise, all the things one finds in a great 4 year old cat. I feel as if I can take on the world!

If you put your nose to the monitor screen right here **** you can smell cat cookie breff and canned cat food breff. Nice, huh?

What a wonderful day!

Love from Fish

Reporting In: Summer Activities

Whistle: I'm taking an online class in Cat History! You wouldn't believe me if I told you how many ginger cats helped in the American Revolution, the Industrial Revolution, Civil Rights and the Hula Hoop Craze! Seems like you can't have good history without a ginger cat!

Fish: Reading books on Cat Camping! I am Adventure Cat! Professor Whiskers asked me to write a song for Cat School Opening Day! My song features ME!, beating up rats!, being brave! and handsome! Everyone will love it!

Dubby: All I do is keep up with my tribe through FB and texting. I've finished my Summer Book list. Now I'm reading books I like: the Twilight Series, Bearnaise Sauce Mountin Cats in History, How Cats with Great Toes Saved Egypt and Cat Cookies: How to Get Them. Mom opened a door and smushed me last night. She said it was an "accident". I hope so because I got scared and ran away to eat a bit of cat kibble. I ate a bit more to keep my strength up.

Whistle: I have a new cat bed! No one else may sleep in it. It's mine! Fish! Don't get in my new cat bed!

Dubby: My head hurty is healing! Everyone says the shaved patch looks cool!

Fish: Hey Whistle! Your butt DOES look big in "your" new cat bed! HA!

Cat School Librarian Suggestions

To: Sister, the Dog
From: Librarian Fluffy C. Holmes-Southerd

Re: Request for Summer Book Suggestions for Fish, Whistle and Dubby

Dear Sister:
Thank you for your kind note requesting help with finding books for the boys to read.

Having heard of Fish's devotion to the Twilight series, I suggest he read the Father Tim books by Jan Karon. These books are the sequel to the Mitford series of several years ago. Father Tim's gentleness and perspective will help Fish focus on good cat behavior.

Whistle found Bird Identification Finals a bit difficult. Perhaps Whistle would enjoy reading Roger Tory Peterson's North American Bird book ONE MORE TIME. Quiz him about the birds at the kitchen bird feeder. Make a game of it!

I suggest Dubby read "Don't Let Your Brother Bite You" by Furry Choate.

Professor Whiskers sends his best regards and looks forward to seeing the cat boys in the school library this summer. We are open 24/7 and have fresh bowls of water available. Remind the boys of the "Read a Book---Get a Cat Cookie" event all Summer.

Regards,
Librarian Fluffy C. Holmes-Southerd

Dubby's Fierce Bad Day

Dear Diary,
I'm glad I can tell you stuff because around here, there isn't privacy. A brother is close by all the time!
You know how Fish and Whistle read those Twilight Books? About vampires biting animals? Whistle has two new lip freckles he says look just like vampire teef. Then Fish runs around outside in the courtyard yelling, " Say it! Say what I am!". It is upsetting I'm telling you.
Saturday, Fish grabbed me and bit me on the side of the head. He was pretending to be a vampire in those books! He took a chunk of my fur off with skin attached! It hurt so bad but I didn't say anything. Blood!
Fish got bored and went off to check his Twitter messages on his FB.
My girl saw my owie and told Mom. Mom cleaned it out with hurting stuff then gave me a HAND FULL of cat cookies.
Today, it was awful! I went in the car in my cat carrier to the Vet!!!!!!!!!
So scary! Even with my girl and Mom along.
Now I have to take ant buy optics. Now I have a shaved place on my head. Now Fish is being nice to me but I am worried.
Don't read those Twilight books, Diary. You might bite a kitten.
Love from Dubby

P.S. I cannot show you a picture of my owie. I can't hold the camera so it points at behind my ear. I tried. Love from Dubby

P.S.S. Fish is a bad kitty. Don't tell anyone I said this.

News from Around Here

Whistle here.

Cat School finals have everyone in a tizzy. Dubby is convinced Fluffy will be his lab partner next year. He says he is quitting school to become a drop-out and get tattoos. Mom says "NO".

Fish won the Catzinger Longtail Award for Best Behavior, Cat Citizenship, the Rotary Scholarship for Nappage, the Blue Ribbon Hairball Hacking Award and the Chat Prize in French. We aren't supposed to know this until Awards Day but Fish told us. Several. Times.

I'm passing my courses, doing well in String Play, Whiffle Ball and Midnight Meowing.
I'm the year book editor with Blast next year. I need two new cameras!

Today we are practicing Hair Ball Hacking. Mom says if she sees one more attempt left on the floor, we are in trouble. This doesn't make sense! Hacking hairballs is nature's way of cleaning out fur and detritus, like beads and tiny Leggos.

Dubby lost his only friend. According to Dubs, Frank the Flea, was a great friend and chatted Dubby up all day and night. We got flea treatment yesterday. Dubby tried to save Frank who died a horrible chemical-tainted death. I don't mind flea treatment. Mom gives us Greenies when she puts the stuff on us.

Fish got stuck under the bedcovers last night. He complained in a loud Meow until Mom freed him. He's so strange.

Verbena wants privacy. Fish wants to pat Verbena. More later because I see this as a real problem.

Frances the Turtle is moving by the windows. She looks great. I wave at her and she ignores me.

Mom has her suitcase out. I hate this. No Greenies during the day time. Water bowl doesn't get filled and we won't get to listen to Urban Contemporary or Classical music all day long. He's OK but doesn't wait on us hand and paw.

Mom says she heard people meowing at LD's school. She says they are pretending to be at Cat School. Go figure. I wish LD stayed home. She goes and comes and goes again.
I love her. Everyone loves her.

Love from Fish. I approve this post. Everybody else (that mean You Fish and You Dubby) stay OFF my Bloggage!!!

A Memo from Verbena

To: Sister the Dog, Fish the Cat,etc., etc.

Dear All:

If you wish me to remain as the Resident Courtyard Toad for the Summer of 2009,please do not approach me with your cat nose or even look at me. Sister the Dog, if you have influence, please speak to your cat about this.

Do not post pictures of me or discuss me on teh internets. I am overwhelmed with print journalists, TV cameras and bloggers looking for me, at me and being near me.

Fish the Cat: if you wish to look at pictures of Toads, order the Guide to All Things Beautiful and Froggy for your Kindle. Leave me alone.

I hope I make myself clear on this issue.

Verbena, V.A.T.*

*Very Attractive Toad

A Prayer from Whistle

Dear God, this is your Whistle.
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all I see around me.
For what is above my head, what is below my paws.
Thank you for everything!

Thank you for my brothers and my nanny, Sister the Dog.
Thank you for my humans.
Thank you for the big clay pot of catnip growing outside the window.
Thank you for all the birds out side; squirrels, too.

Thank you for Greenies, cat food and clean water.
Thank you for fresh litterboxes.
Thank you for the strength to jump high on the Study bookcases.
Thank you that no one saw me knock over the lamp in the dining room.

Thank you for my friends near and far.
Thank you for my green collar.
Thank you that I am dressed in clothes once a year on Halloween.
Thank you for ear scratches, purrs received with delight and bugs.

Thank you for making me and placing me in my home.
Amen.

How Sister Got A Night Off

Sister, our nanny, slept a long, snoring dog sleep last night. She was all alone without any cat company!

Our humans can't get their clock thingies fixed so they know when to get up. She went through the house playing with the clocks on Saturday night. I do not know why she did this.

The humans go to bed earlier and forget to get up on time.

How odd! If only humans were cats. Time for cats is easy. When you are hungry, you go to the food bowl. Sleepy? Drop on the bed for a nap. Humans look at clocks to know what to do. Silly! Around bedtime last night, they got confused.

Last night, Fish got outside and stayed outside until this morning! He is exhausted and smells like outdoors!

Dubby and I were shut up in the pantry all night. What's with that? Listening to Dubby read the food labels is boring. No litter box! No water!

With Fish outside, Dubby and I in the kitchen pantry Sister had a night to herself.

love from Whistle, the Ace Cat Reporter

Guest Blogger: Fish

I take as my text, the Gospel lectionary passage for this week, Mark 1:37b-38a:

"they said to him, 'Everyone is searching for you'" He answered, Let us go to the neighboring towns"

I take this to mean I am NOT GOING TO THE VET THIS MORNING NO MATTER WHAT. YOU CAN SEARCH FOR ME BUT I AM GOING TO NEIGHBORING TOWNS!

Love, Fish

Fish: Guest Blogger

more animal

This is why I can't go to the Vet next week
This isn't a picture of me. I'm ADVENTURE CAT!

You get the idea anyway,

Fish

Our Christmas Lists

Whistle
Cat Cookies
String
cardboard box to sit in

Fish
Adventure Cat red cape
Warm water on my cat crunchies for Breakfast
Someone to play felt fish on a string with me

Dubby
Cat Food
Cat Cookies
A freckle on my nose like Whistle and Fish

Sister
I would like to go to see "Marley and Me" about the yellow lab
I would like to sit in the theater seat with Mr.C. and eat popcorn with him
an afternoon off from taking care of the kitties

When you live with two brothers, the Best Dog in the World and Andy*, you can be happy all the time.


If you want to snuggle, find Sister or Fish or Dubby.

If you want to play, find Sister, Fish or Dubby.

We are never lonely because we have each other.

Fish takes time to meditate on his Turtle quilt or on the linen closet shelf. He likes to think Deep Thoughts. When he isn't being contemplative or brooding, he's a fun guy.

You can count on one of us to be annoying, too. What would the world be like without annoyance? I'm not saying who is the most annoying because Fish told me I could be the King of Annoy most days.

*Andy is busy 24/7 with his work. We love him but he doesn't want to play often or be snugly ever.

I love my family.

P.S. I was not the one who broke the Christmas Tree ornament yesterday. I think the wind blew it off or something.

love from your,

Whistle

Cat News Sunday Edition

Dubby has a new red collar. The jingly bell is red, too.


We have a big, big bag of Cat Crunchies. Gives me confidence.



Somebody cut his paw. He left bloody paw prints on the Study bathtub. We think it was Fish but he says cats hide pain. He's not telling.


Fish made an "A" on his paper, "Litter Boxes: The Indoor Cat's Dilemma." He wrote about how we use multi-cut shredded newspaper in our litter boxes because we are living Green around here. We put his paper on the refrigerator. He got an extra Cat Cookie.


Dubby heard about cats who live with bunny rabbits. He wants a bunny rabbit for a buddy.


Fish howls about the stock market. I told him what I heard on the Motley Fool, "if you aren't retiring in the next 3-5 years, pay no attention to the market." I don't think his stock in Greenies is in danger.



I've knocked the fake orchid plant off the Mantle four times! Each time it looks worse and worse! Maybe Mom will throw it away if I push it off again!



Dubby and Fish took a nap together last week. Can you believe that?


Andy killed a mau wus for Mom. He meowed until she came outside to praise him.


Sister is at Mr.C's office this afternoon guarding him.

Love from your Reporter,

Whistle, this is MY blog

Fish is in big trouble. He came in from being outside all night long this morning. He is an indoor kitty.

Mom asked to speak to him in the Cone of Silence. They went into her study and she closed the door.

Immediately, Dubby and I pressed ourselves to the closed door so we wouldn't miss a word.

Perfect Fish is getting blasted out by Mom!

She said:

"Fish, I know you are Adventure Cat in your heart. You were outside in the danger all night long. We have dogs, mean cats, squirrels, foxes, opossums and snakes in our neighborhood. We have speedy cars, too. You are not allowed to go outside at night and stay outside. You are in big trouble.

I know you like to take off your green collar when you go outside. You believe that Adventure Cat would not wear a kitty collar. This is dangerous, too. If you get lost or hurt, no one will be able to find us to help you if you lose your collar.

As punishment, I am going to trim the tip of your beautiful ginger tail fur into a straight line. Long ago, when my Grandmother was a child, her nurse told her that if you trim a cat's tail, the cat will not run away. If you disobey me and go outside at night, if someone finds you, they will know you are family cat because of the trimmed tail.

I want you to grow up to be big and strong. I want you to be our kitty for all the years God has for you. I expect you to stay indoors."

We heard "snip, snip" and then Fish yelled "Adventure Cat" and leapt out of the room.

You heard it here first.

Yours,
Whistle